When a baby is inside his/her mommy’s womb, he/she learns the way that mommy talks, walks, cries, laughs, sings, etc. He/she becomes very acquainted with who mommy is and how she behaves. And mommy learns much about the little one growing within her. A very special connection is being formed here…one that is unlike any other in the world.
Connection is so important. Think about a basketball team that doesn’t “click” or connect with each other. Think about a corporation whose employees all lack connection with each other. Think about a shower/bathtub that isn’t connected to a water source. Think about a lamp that isn’t connected to the electrical outlet. Well, you get the idea…without connection, we tend to be a bit “lost”.
A few weeks ago, I got back in touch with almost all the girls in my travel group. I haven’t been to any of the reunions they have had for many years now, and aside from exchanging Christmas cards (which kinda fell by the wayside in recent years), I pretty much had lost touch with these girls and their families. We go back over sixteen years to when our parents came to get us in China. Actually, for two of the girls and I, it’s probably been longer since that because we were from the same orphanage. I’ll be honest…reconnecting with these girls felt really amazing. Somehow I feel like they are a small part of that unknown past that I have.
(Side note: if you’re an adoptive parent, I’d really encourage you to keep in touch with your child(ren)’s travel group(s)…it may not seem very big now and probably easier to go on with your life without having to keep up with more people than you have to, but in later years, it may mean much more to your child(ren) than you ever could have thought.)
Also, last week, I got in touch with a very distant cousin who is also an adoptee. She is about 5 years younger than me, but once again, that connection felt so good. I really am related to someone. That probably sounds weird, but I’ve lived all my eighteen plus years not knowing someone I’m related to. It’s really exciting for me now to know someone I share DNA with even if it is only 0.14%!
These connections feel good…really they do. But in my heart, I’m still searching for that one special connection…that connection with my mom, the woman who held me beneath her heart for months. We had a special bond for 9 months, give or take. But that bond was disrupted when we were separated.
Sometimes, it feels like the bond was broken. But deep in my heart, I really don’t think it was. My China mom still lives on in my heart. We don’t know each other now and maybe we never will. Only God knows that. But I do know one thing…my birth mama and I share a very special connection with each other in our hearts. And this connection is something I will treasure very much for the rest of my life.